Andy: Okay Scott, I can either collect the money from you in a country where you have healthcare or a country where you don’t.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: I have Crave. Do you need to mooch?
Don: OH MY GOD I could never. Maybe.
Me: Oh, you get all the good ubers, mine don’t like me because I boss them around a lot.
Deshi: Oh… I barfed a lot in mine.
Me: That taco place we wanted to check out is apparently closed due to a family emergency.
Fab: During Pride? That’s homophobic.
Me: So what did you think of the election?
Uber driver: I don’t follow them, they are all corruption.
Siri: Sorry, I didn’t understand that.
Uber driver: See? No one understands!
Becca: Imagine a lawn full of lettuce. That would be so nice. Instead of mowing, you’d make a salad.
Me: Again, you guys can come over, you just have to help me put on my fitted sheet and my—
Val: I’m not coming over.
Fab: My tv isn’t even mounted yet, how am I supposed to have a partner?!?
Sanila: (cutting mango) so I’m cutting it the way brown people cut it.
Dilsher: No, no one cuts it this way.
Me: I’m so glad you aren’t looking back and seeing my gait right now.
Becker: Oh I saw, I just pretended not to.
