Me: Do you hear that child screaming?
Don: Was that a pterodactyl? Are we in Jurassic Park? Are we in the sequel?
Author Archives: Irisa
Val: Every time he looks at me, he’s like wow and I’m like, I just have a job it’s not that serious.
Sanila: I was feeding a stray cat some of my taco meat yesterday and a local asked for my number like, “quel nombre” and Dilsher wasn’t with me. I didn’t know how to respond so I just showed him a pic of me and Dilsher.
Fab: I am the alpha now.
Fab: Wait no, that’s not right.
Fab: I am the captain now.
Callie: Look at this Arthur doll. Where are his glasses?
Me: It’s not Arthur without the glasses.
Callie: Yes, simply just John Legend.
Me: Are you looking for sugar? There’s a container on the table.
Andy: (stares)
Becca: The only container on the table.
Fabienne: I used to think people named Vivienne were knock-offs of me.
Mei: He listens to this style called hardcore.
Me: Parkour?
Mei: Hardcore. It’s very hard.
Callie: (eating mango) Look away! This is a private moment!
Timmy: I had a straight friend but then she moved to LA.
