KM: Have I ever lied to you?
Me: We just met.
KM: So no.
Author Archives: Irisa
Selby: It was Bad by Michael Jackson. And as it turns out, he was.
Timmy: The place was called Five Little Lakes. It involved five little lakes.
Becca: It was London Bridge. I heard that clown ass beat and was like, I know this song.
Me: I just saw a man pick out and eat his own booger.
Andy: This is more common than I’ve understood.
Marty: Yeah, but they’re not introspective at all. They’ll let things fail and be like, oh shoot, we did nothing!
(On the Jonas Brothers)
Khalil: I swear there’s four of them.
Me: Name them.
Khalil: Okay, Rick Jonas…
Andrew: There’s the one with the looks, the one with looks and diabetes, and the one without the looks.
Me: Look at those suspenders…
Becca: They’re so performative, they’re not suspending anything.
Val: Unfortunately, his mother is singlehandedly repopulating Perry Sound.
Dan: I did study some Gen Z slang and I learned about China-maxxing.
