Me: My friend says, “she has the perfect head.”
Sanila: That’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
Val: Shabbat shalom, bitches.
Val’s mom: Shabbat shalom.
Val: …bitches.
Becca: There’s no way they’re called Hoobastank, did you make that up?
Me: I’m about to blow your mind.
Gurjant: This lettuce is not bad.
Me: It’s bok choy.
(Music plays at a house party)
Michael: Oh SHIT, this is Ave Maria!! (begins to sing operatically)
Me: He was so weird. He’s an aquarius.
Fab: Ohhhh yeah. Yeah yeah. You should’ve led with that. Air signs, man.
Guy at party: You know who’s headlining, right? Imagine Dragons, so you know it’s going to be bad.
(Watching Love is Blind)
Andy: He looks like he is in huge gambling debt.
Becca: Oh yes, I can see that.
Fab: So I accidentally went to a strip club.
Me: Did you like it?
Fab: It was good! It was cute.
Andy: Why isn’t the plural of mouse not mouses and the plural of houses not hice?
My Friends Say Things 