Irisa

(Everyone outside smoking at a party)

Marcus: (comes inside) What are you nerds doing?

Me: (mouth full) Eating tofu.

Jenn: I was at a mushroom show and the edibility level of one was just an emoji going (shrugs).

Me: I haven’t seen you guys in years!

Steve: Yeah, did you know there was a pandemic?

Andy: I guess that IS the motto of science… fuck around and find out. But it’s very important that you do the finding out.

Groom: Alright, your girlfriend’s fucking weird. (turns to me) I’ve seen your blog, by the way. (runs away)

Andy: It just looks like a poorly designer building. They wasted a lot of space.

Christina: It’s very top-heavy, like most management.

Sanila: The Greek mythology one, that’s the best one.

Me: Did she… kill people?

Dilsher: Yes.

Becca: It’s called ASSASSIN’S Creed.

Me: Do you love it?

Christina: (holding and petting an alpaca doll)

Andy: It looks like you love it.

Christina: I don’t love anything.

Christina’s boyfriend: Okay.

Iris: Is he okay?

Geoff: Well, he collects Funko Pops—

Kevin: Then he’s NOT okay.

Sinyi: It’s an apple farm. And a raspberry farm. And a blackberry—

Jessie: It’s a farm.

My Friends Say Things