Me: You don’t know who Future is?
Khalil: No.
Me: Mask Off? Percocet, molly, percocet?
Khalil: No.
Kaili: I was just thinking, if I was buying a house and the apocalypse happens, I’m going to be so upset. I’m never going to financially recover from this, like wow.
Retired man at bar: 6-7, 6-7!
Becca: I was gonna be Pitbull but it’s too hard to get a bald cap these days.
Me: What did you just say?
Andy: I’m going to soul-read your LLM.
Becca: (pushing luggage trolley) Oh, this is all wheel drive, nice.
Kaili: Last time I checked, Gary was single.
Poonam: Not that Gary, this Gary.
Kaili: THAT Gary?
Jared: I always open with a kumbaya circle, which everyone hates but I love because it makes everyone mad.
Becca: What is this?
Me: It’s like a jelly thing.
Becca: Oh, it’s just for enjoyment? Nah.
Mark: My friend married for the US visa. It was hell.
Charm: Is this friend actually you?
My Friends Say Things 