Andy: I’m happy we’re here.
Me: In my room?
Andy: Metaphysically.
Author Archives: Irisa
Callie: Yeah and they were like, one of the girls got attacked by peepeepoopoo man and now they’re on leave for a year because they’re traumatized.
Becca: (sees my cat sitting at a computer) What has capitalism come to?
Sean: You’re gonna do some work on a Friday night? Nah, you’re not fooling anyone.
Fab: Did you say Ted Talk or Tiktok?
Me: I think we both know which one I’m talking about.
Callie: Have you guys ever stapled your finger?
Becca: Yes.
Callie: Out of curiosity?
Becca: No.
Callie: Oh.
Winnie: My side hustle was when I was in grade 5 or 6, I discovered the power of photoshop.
Me: Did you charge them?
Winnie: Hell yeah, I did.
Brenda: How did you get paid?
Winnie: I lied about my age on paypal.
Callie: His latest post says “feeling mediocre.” As he should.
Andy: I don’t know what I’m doing.
Me: It’s okay, neither do our world leaders.
Andy: Haha! That’s not okay.
Shawn: My friend didn’t know you’re supposed to wash mushrooms.
Jason: You’re supposed to wash mushrooms?
My Friends Say Things 