Mom: Are you sure? The cake had dairy, you’ll fart on the plane.
Ivy: That’s other people’s problem.
Mom: That’s true.
Author Archives: Irisa
Gurjant: I have a reverse OnlyFans where I send people pics of my feet and only stop when they send me money.
Jess: That’s harassment.
Me: How long was I asleep for?
Becca: I think you fell asleep before or after me.
Me: You were asleep?!
Becca: Yes but when I woke up, you were awake. Either already or not yet.
Me: The Lacheys should be ashamed of themselves
Andy: La-shamed.
Kaili: Due to personal and political reasons, I will now be looking to become a trad wife.
Becca: If Terroni was your last meal, I would say you wasted your life.
Me: Do you want a bag for that giant chocolate bar instead of your pocket?
Fab: Eh it’s fine, people will know I’m having a good time.
Andy: Why is Luigi Mangione so handsome? Just me?
Scott: Who’s the other famous Bob?
Becca: Bob the Builder?
Fab: Is that Princess Diana?
Yi: No, that’s a black woman.
My Friends Say Things 