Becker: Do you want a fork?
Me: Oh no it’s okay, I can use my fingies.
Becker: …have a fork.
Tag Archives: Becca
Dustin: (touches hairless cat) Is this what it feels like to pet a bald person?
Me: No, it’s not.
Becker: You said that so confidently.
Becca: Imagine a lawn full of lettuce. That would be so nice. Instead of mowing, you’d make a salad.
Me: I’m so glad you aren’t looking back and seeing my gait right now.
Becker: Oh I saw, I just pretended not to.
Me: Are you looking for sugar? There’s a container on the table.
Andy: (stares)
Becca: The only container on the table.
Becca: What was that?
Me: A burp.
Becca: I have never heard that noise come out of you before.
Becca: (sees my cat sitting at a computer) What has capitalism come to?
Callie: Have you guys ever stapled your finger?
Becca: Yes.
Callie: Out of curiosity?
Becca: No.
Callie: Oh.
Becca: He plays wordle now and posts it to Facebook, but it’s always like six tries. I’m like, is this normal or are you stupid?
Me: I love how this lego tiger has eyebrows.
Becca and Callie: (in unison) It has a butthole.
Me: I love how that’s the one thing you guys say to me in unison as a response, without missing a beat.
Becca and Callie: (once again in unison) It’s a pink flower.
My Friends Say Things 