Sean: You’re gonna do some work on a Friday night? Nah, you’re not fooling anyone.
Fab: Did you say Ted Talk or Tiktok?
Me: I think we both know which one I’m talking about.
Callie: Have you guys ever stapled your finger?
Becca: Yes.
Callie: Out of curiosity?
Becca: No.
Callie: Oh.
Winnie: My side hustle was when I was in grade 5 or 6, I discovered the power of photoshop.
Me: Did you charge them?
Winnie: Hell yeah, I did.
Brenda: How did you get paid?
Winnie: I lied about my age on paypal.
Callie: His latest post says “feeling mediocre.” As he should.
Andy: I don’t know what I’m doing.
Me: It’s okay, neither do our world leaders.
Andy: Haha! That’s not okay.
Shawn: My friend didn’t know you’re supposed to wash mushrooms.
Jason: You’re supposed to wash mushrooms?
Scott: And now you’re here, just fartin’ up a storm.
Becca: He plays wordle now and posts it to Facebook, but it’s always like six tries. I’m like, is this normal or are you stupid?
Me: Oh wow, our order is very seafood themed.
Jess: More like CAN’T seafood because I can’t see my food ’cause it still isn’t here yet.
My Friends Say Things 