Kristina: You don’t hear anyone that isn’t fresh from China say “aiyah” except for you. I just want to say, I love it, don’t ever change, thank you so much.
Nikki: You touched a cow and it changed your life.
Julius: I was born in Canada but they put me in the ESL class.
Me: Oh my god, Guy Fieri has sauce?
Jess: Ew, he’s so nasty. He’s a nasty person.
(Static and muffled screaming over Wal-Mart intercom)
Sanila: This is how we die, Irisa.
Dad: (turns on light) Hah! What are you doing?
Me: Dancing.
Dad: Clear the table.
Fiona: And then I was like, “OH MY GOD ARE THOSE TITTIES?????”
Nat: To a man.
Kristina: Listen, I really want Yeezy’s. That’s the only reason I signed up for the mailing list.
Michelle: We’re such queens, look at all these peasants.
Nat: Yeah, people were nice. No one touched us.
Julius: So does that mean they’re nice or we’re ugly?
My Friends Say Things 