Sanila: Your eyebrows are far superior.
Mojan: The girl at the counter had such flawless skin, I was like, ‘kay well I wanna be her so I’ll drink goat piss if that’s what she does. Luckily all she recommended was a serum.
Kristina: I’m just gonna be a hunk of beef today.
Me: That’s okay, I love beef.
Kristina: Yay.
Me: Are you guys …….wearing naan?
PK: Naan is the new accessory, my friend.
Me: He is garbage.
Sanila: The kind of garbage that isn’t biodegradable either.
Becca: He looks like one of those people that would sleep on one of the MC couches. That’s the threshold of grossness. That says something about your character.
Chris: Okay, you know what me indulging is? In first year, I bought a box of Ritz crackers.
Ivy: It’s okay, we can talk another day, I — WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sorry I just dropped a pickle.
Me: I just learned more than I should have about cockroaches. I feel like I will never feel safe or clean or truly happy again.
Ava: Why? Teach me too.
Me: Ava.
Ava: I want to live in a disturbed state. Tell me. I’m not a stable person.
Me: Kristina, never leave me.
Kristina: I won’t.
Me: I need to keep a part of you with me when I go.
Kristina: Oh, you will. This hate extends.
My Friends Say Things 