Fabienne: (shows me pics on Tinder)
Me: OHHH, okay! She cuuuute.
Random Dude: (entering elevator as we exit) Yeah?
Us: Yeaaahhhhh!
Author Archives: Irisa
Don: They were like, “MEH DONNY I’M UGLY, FIX ME!” I’m over here like, “I ain’t Jesus. You are unfixable. Drink more water.”
Dustin: Year 3004 high school history classes be like, “And in 2016, former super-power USA elected an internet troll as their president.”
Candice: I still have this note he wrote on my phone:
“Anthony Wong is super sexy. When people call him ugly, they are actually using an acronym. UGLY: Ultra Good Looking, Yo!”
Becca: No opinion is as honest as an Asian parent’s.
Me: (misting plant in the sun) Wow, you’re getting so much love today! Just kidding, you get this much love every day!!
Christine: …wow.
Jenn: He’s taking up gardening. Wants to grow spearmint for mojitos. Because mojitos remind him of cruises. It all goes back to cruises.
Andrew: Yo, you gotta send us those photos!
Rachel: Are you going to give us a cut though? We want a percentage.
Timmy: Irisa, are you happy with your pillow?
Me: Is someone making you do this?
Elil: I hope he was 2 metres away from you when he asked for your number.
My Friends Say Things 