Britt: So I punched a parrot out of the air once.
Author Archives: Irisa
Fab: Never have I ever taken DICK before.
Becker: Oh, what drug is that?
Me: Do you have enough room in your stomach?
Mom: I’ll just walk a bit, fart a bit and then I’ll be good.
Dustin: Nobody asked but my cholesterol level is so fire.
Jiwoo: Let me show you the ways of the cat whisperer.
Sean: No way man, your cats are weird.
Deshi: We got a thermometer from AliExpress and it said he was 41 degrees, so we called 911 and they came and were like, yeah you gotta get a better thermometer.
Don: It was open concept so we sat around in a circle like a cult, I loved it.
Callie: They asked him what his favourite [corporate] framework value is and he said $24.99.
Dustin: I feel like if you have a kid, you become a side character in your own story and I can’t have that yet.
Winnie: And she was like, he’s not a looker but he’s very nice. And I was like, so what you’re saying is that he’s ugly.