Me: I couldn’t have dessert, so I just had more biryani.
Ava: I couldn’t have dessert, so I dug into people’s gift boxes.
Author Archives: Irisa
Dustin: Noooo, not the vape! It’s so gen z and middle-aged at the same time. Schrodinger’s vape.
Andy: (checks phone) I have $35 in Starbucks gift cards?
Me: Wow, I didn’t know I was marrying into money.
Becca: I wouldn’t say I’m unconventional. Like, I’m pretty normal.
Me: (silently shifts gaze to Becca’s rubber frog-shaped shoes)
Ifath: I’m competitive with loser energy.
Jenn: He won’t wear boots. I’m like, they’re not just for cowboys and he’s like, they’re for cowboys. So he refuses to wear boots.
Me: Is this the scandalous one?
Fab: Eh, when they’re rich, there’s always scandals.
Me: Is it true that men can turn off their brains?
Guy at Party: Oh yeah, all the time.
Chungie: I never had it on to be honest.
Dustin: I love 50 Cent, he’s a professional hater.
Me: As a person that—
Becca: Shits a lot?
Me: Well, I guess you could say that.
My Friends Say Things 