Elil: (as Mike shouts continuously) Michael, I tutored you in high school, do not come for me. You passed English because of me.
Author Archives: Irisa
Andy T: I ain’t no hoe that spends time in a kitchen ’cause that ain’t me.
(At the hospital)
Ava: (gasps) SOMEONE LEFT A KIT-KAT HERE!
Me: AVA!
Me: …is it wrapped?
Ava: (sing-song voice) It’s HALF-wrapped!!
Me: Do you like Great Good Okay Fine?
Andy: Did you have a stroke or did I have a stroke?
Philip: Where’s Michelle Obama when you need her?
Timmy: Irisa, are you happy with your current pillow?
Me: Who is making you do this?
Kelly: I miss you, you keep me sane.
Ava: Fuck you, adversity.
Ying: [Finding] good dick attached to a decent guy is hard.
