Andrew: Michelle Obama’s my best friend.
Emily: I don’t believe you.
Andrew: Why?
Emily: ‘Cause you’re a lying bitch.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Whatever happened to Madonna?
Becca: She’s old.
Sinyi: How could you do that to yourself? How could anyone live like that?
Me: What, not have Snapchat?
Fabienne: So I wrote back, “I am a lesbian. Rainbow emoji.”.
Me: Will he understand that?
Fabienne: That’s why I added the rainbow emoji.
Flora: You just need him to understand “your Uber is here”, ya know? I just need that bare minimum of intelligence.
Andy: It’s everyday, bro.
Andy: I regret saying that already.
Kristina: The only good thing about Chris Brown is that his life is a continual mess.
Jenny: Call it garlic bread. Or, moist croutons.
Sanila: Buzzfeed is so annoying sometimes. Like, give me the quizzes and just go.
Kevin L: Guys in this bathroom don’t know how to take a dump or piss in a toilet bowl. It’s like they just stand there and be like, “OHHHH, wherever it goes, IT GOES!!”
My Friends Say Things 