Ava: Venus is in retrograde. I take these readings very seriously.
Me: You don’t pay for these, do you?
Ava: No, I saw it off a Snapchat story.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ryan: Actually, I do know a Wendy. Wendy Wu.
Me: She was the homecoming warrior. That was on Family Channel.
Sanila: He was like, are you seeing anyone? And I was like, yes. And he was like, so can I still see you? And I was like, no.
(looks on dating app)
Cris: He looks like… He looks like he snorts coke every Friday.
Me: What would be categorized as a global issue?
Walter: Oh god, I don’t know and I hope I never find out.
(checks Instagram)
Me: They both saw our stories!
Ashley: We’re winning! We’re winning!!
Kaitlyn: Sometimes, it feels like life or death but it’s PR, not ER.
Me: Have you ever been sorted? Wait, did you read Harry Potter?
Andy: Of course. I AM A CULTURED MAN.
Me: Ugh, Brett Kavanaugh.
Fabienne: Why would you say that. It’s a nice day.
Kaili’s dad: Oh you guys have cocaine? Cool.
My Friends Say Things 