Andrea: So they’re the same age?
Me: …her and her TWIN?
Andrea: ….yes, that would make sense.
Author Archives: Irisa
Becca: I was like, why am I doing this? But then I did it anyways.
Cris: You’re only saying that because you hired her.
DJ: I HIRED YOU TOO!
Ivy: That bitch chose to meet at Nando’s. My friend is a vegetarian. I’m a vegetarian. The bitch HERSELF is vegetarian.
Ivy: I would have been like naw, let the house be cold, I’m not going to that housewarming.
Kaili: He’s a fat kid that got really fit in adulthood.
Me: So you know he takes a lot of photos of himself.
Maggie: Say no more.
Riannon: Anything is possible at 1 am. Anything.
Andy: If I’m going to hell, it’s because the instructions were unclear.
Mom: Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
(on soft-boiled eggs)
Cris: No, I get it. You and I, we’re the same.
Me: Boujee-ass bitch?
Cris: Ya.
