Ashley: Ya, IDK, whatevs. I’ll just be single forever and get a dog.
Author Archives: Irisa
(Lining up for pizza)
Man in Car: (shouts) ALL THIS FOR PIZZA?
Line: Yeah.
Man in Car: HOW MUCH?
Line: $3.
Man in Car:
Man in Car: ……..oh fuck, pull over, pull over.
Me: It’s a…. FUN Friday, guys.
Loren: Except that it’s not.
Ally: Did you guys know there’s a word for fuck boy in every language?
Me: You know, when I first met you, I didn’t think we’d be having an in-depth conversation about poop in the service centre.
Ally: It happens, it happens.
Mom: You know… Air Canada is hiring.
Me: Mom. You know I get motion sickness easily, why do you keep pitching me this?
Fabienne: And I killed that presentation. In my pyjamas. In my room. Because it was over Skype.
(hears loud noise)
Becca: What’s that?
Me: That….. is a party.
Becca: What’s a party?
Anviksha: Wine at nine is fine, sunshine!
Me: Wait, you’ve never had peanut butter?
Marcus: I’m allergic. I don’t die. Just vomit. Let’s move on.
My Friends Say Things 