Me: Why don’t you want to live in Florida? Is it the murderers?
Kaili: Youuuuuu got me! It’s the KILLERS!
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Hello.
Iris: Are you talking to me?
Me: Hello.
Iris: Who are you talking to?
Me: Hello.
Iris: What are you talking to?
Me: Hello.
Iris: Am I going on your blog?
Robyn: They’re like hippies, aren’t they pretty granola?
Holly: They’re vanilla?
Robyn: No, granola isn’t the same thing as vanilla.
Me: (pulls out cereal box) I have vanilla granola!
Don: I don’t like the term dad bod, I prefer father figure.
Zoe: I am going to vomit on you.
Anviksha: (eyes glaze over)
Karishma: Where… where are you going? Come back!
Quyen: He asked me for money so I’m like, “Who’s your daddy now?”
Harry: I used to throw garbage at Lindsay and take pictures of it while it was still in the air.
Lindsay: And we call THAT workplace harassment.
Ally: Justin doesn’t like kimchi either. But then again, he likes The Bachelor so he has questionable taste.
Don: I bruise easily too. In the summer, my legs get all bruised and it’s the most unattractive thing.
Me: No, the most unattractive thing is racism.
(pouring wine)
Me: Get iiiiiit!
Jenn B: It’s been got.
My Friends Say Things 