Andy: (sees baked bean spring roll) That’s disgusting. Jesus left the chat.
Author Archives: Irisa
Val: I’m losing my shit! Losing it!
Stan: Where did it go?
Jess: Yo, there’s a tick and when it bites you, you become allergic to red meat.
All: (horrified silence)
Linda: It’s a vegetarian bug! It’s going to save our planet!
Kaili: I’ll let you know how it goes. His texts are in green, so you know he’s Android.
Daryl: Ya boy’s out here getting Lasik today. Gonna send updates throughout the day documenting the process. If you don’t want updates please reply saying so, thanks.
Brian: Let’s get some shots up in here.
Me: (turns around laptop) Shot list!
Sai: Yes!
Brian: I hate you. BOO!
Ivy: I hate Spongebob. His voice makes me want to literally punch a sponge.
Amy: Here are the hot spots for Lyme disease.
Me: Are we in danger?
Amy: We’re always in danger.
Val: She’s so quiet but she says the freakiest things like, “Val, have you ever taken it up the a**?”
Me: And I was like, I love you but fuck off.
Daniel: That should be on a t-shirt.
