Sai: I call guys pretty all the time!
Razi: You never call ME pretty!
All: (silence)
Author Archives: Irisa
Ava: Just got out of a meeting. And the entire time in the meeting, I was singing in my head, “Buss it down, Thotiana.”
Sai: aarrrrrraaaaaaaaaaggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg
Me: (looks over and stares in concern)
Sai: ….
Sai: Sometimes, I forget I’m making noises.
Kanu: You have really nice eyebrows.
Razi: Thanks, bro.
Andy: And I was like, “That’s a big bitch right there.” And he thought I was referring to a person, but it was just a bird in front of us.
Mom: We can wait until Ivy graduates.
Me: I don’t think she wants to go to Vegas.
Mom: Not her, me.
Don: Maybe that’s why you like spreadsheets so much. Because your moon’s a Virgo.
Ally: And I was watching his Snap Stories.
Me: And?
Ally: And we all make our decisions. Some better than others.
Angela: So now he decided he’s in love with you? That’s so corny and so stupid.
Kevin: So recently, I discovered that if I mix my vanilla whey protein with juice, it tastes like a creamsicle.
Ivy: That is literally my worst nightmare.
Me: I almost choked and shat myself at the same time.
