Me: Dad, this is today’s hip music.
(Billie Eilish plays on radio)
Dad: I can’t tell if it’s English or Chinese.
Author Archives: Irisa
Sai: It was just an abnormal amount of pigeon encounters.
Andy: (glances over)
Me: Were you checking out his butt?
Andy: No!
Me:
Andy:
Me:
Andy: Okay, fine, yes!!!
Sinyi: Mountain Dew is a scary colour. It should not be neon.
Me: I don’t know why we yell at the screen, they can’t hear us.
Michael: No, no. They hear us. (places hand over heart) Spiritually.
Me: I just feel bad for your suitcase when I roll over this thing.
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Me: I know, you keep sayi—
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Me: I sneezed and farted at the same time.
Fabienne: Proud of you.
Andy: This bitch. He says you’re the female version of me.
Ava: They came over and we had tea, and played Wii games and got pizza and ice cream and read poetry and tried on my wig.
Ava: It was so splendid.
Kaili: I gave myself a boy cut and my mom told me my hair would grow back after I ate my dinner…
Kaili: It did not, in fact, grow back after I ate my dinner.
My Friends Say Things 