Me: Would you ever do it again?
Stan: No, never.
Me: For a million dollars?
Stan: Yeah.
Author Archives: Irisa
(on a recent Uber ride)
Anu: He was asking me questions like, “vere are you going?” and “vhy are you here?” And he was playing some famous Bollywood song like, “Deeesiii girl, Deeesssiii girl,” and trying to seduce me. I gave him a one star rating.
Calvin: Is that someone digging into a mango?
Me: It was pornographic fruit art???
Calvin: Oh, LOL, that went over my head. Was like… why smash some good fruit?
Ava: Let me live inside my robe forever.
Hanna: What is your favourite ride at Wonderland?
Sean: Leviathan.
Sinyi: Leviathan.
Me: I like the merry-go-round.
Laura: She’ll hate it, so let’s do it.
(on Game 6)
Kanu: I say, we should all just hold hands.
Me: And sing Kumbaya?
Kanu: Exactly.
Ally: So I was like, “Are you guys back together?” And she was like, “No, we’re going to be roommates.”
Me: That sounds like the worst idea in the world.
Ally: I know. I KNOW.
Val: Yeah, but have you actually seen him with anyone?
Sai: I can see him with Brienne of Tarth.
Me: What IS your type though?
Brian: One nose, two eyes, two ears…..
Ivy: No, I see you doing that. That’s why your body’s wrecked.
Me: Wrecked?
Ivy: YEAH, WRECKED.
Me: That’s really mean.
