Me: Is that Criss Angel?
Rebecca: Is that what Criss Angel looks like?
Me: No.
Tag Archives: Becca
Becca: There’s no way they’re called Hoobastank, did you make that up?
Me: I’m about to blow your mind.
(Watching Love is Blind)
Andy: He looks like he is in huge gambling debt.
Becca: Oh yes, I can see that.
Becker: Do you want a fork?
Me: Oh no it’s okay, I can use my fingies.
Becker: …have a fork.
Dustin: (touches hairless cat) Is this what it feels like to pet a bald person?
Me: No, it’s not.
Becker: You said that so confidently.
Becca: Imagine a lawn full of lettuce. That would be so nice. Instead of mowing, you’d make a salad.
Me: I’m so glad you aren’t looking back and seeing my gait right now.
Becker: Oh I saw, I just pretended not to.
Me: Are you looking for sugar? There’s a container on the table.
Andy: (stares)
Becca: The only container on the table.
Becca: What was that?
Me: A burp.
Becca: I have never heard that noise come out of you before.
Becca: (sees my cat sitting at a computer) What has capitalism come to?
My Friends Say Things 