Andy: There’s a horchata flavour with pineapple.

Me: Sounds like gentrification.

Andy: Not inherently a bad thing.

Me: (stares)

Andy: I said what I said.

Me: This week kicked my ass.

Andy: It’s okay, you have a beautiful ass.

Me: We’re not getting any younger, you know?

Andy: Did you know nobody is?

Me: Listen, there are layers to this.

Andy: I don’t want you wasting brain cells explaining this to me.

Andy: I found one of your hairs in my shirt and it was keeping me company.

Me: It sounds like a cult.

Andy: I looked into it. Just sounds like a bunch of nerds.

Me: I’m sorry I farted in the middle of Ave Maria.

Andy: No, it’s okay. It’s the perfect time to fart, to be honest.