Mark: ChatGPT told me I should speak to a therapist, so that’s when you know.
Me: I farted so loudly the other day, Google Meet asked me if I wanted to go off mute.
Dustin: AI thinks farting is talking, jobs still safe.
Becca: The earth is round?
Keith: No…
Gurjant: You believe in the earth?
Poonam: I just wanna say… I didn’t KNOW he was a white rapper.
(gets banned on Instagram)
Andy: I’m going to be so productive now. Finally gonna put up that shelf by the coffee nook.
Me: I remember whenever I would slink back to the apps and see the same guys across different platforms and years. I really wonder about them.
Kaili: I wonder if they wonder the same thing about us or if they ever got off.
Me: The abyss stares back…
Dilsher: Meat’s not expired unless it’s got mold on it.
Me: Dude… no.
Me: I’m so sleepy.
Sanila: NO! We NEED TO SHAKE OUR ASSES!
Me: Okay.
Me: I wish you could come with us, but I guess some would call that codependency.
Becca: Isn’t this your honeymoon?
Me: Yeah.
Dilsher: Have you guys seen Ginny and Georgia?
Andy: Is it good?
Dilsher: No.
My Friends Say Things 