(phone buzzes)
Christine: OOOH, booty call?
Me: No, UberEats.
Me: I once found him off a simple detail he mentioned on Hinge.
Fabienne: Abolish the police, let Irisa replace the entire Investigations unit.
Sanila: Well, there is no pressure to date right now. There is pressure to remain alive.
Kaili: I love karma in the form of a receding hairline.
Me: I was thinking of getting a sewing machine.
Andy: Ooh, what do you want to use it for?
Me: Sewing.
Fabienne: So we make fun of her.
Me: Oh, that is so mean.
Fabienne: Yeah, but she is Asian and has dreadlocks.
Me: Oh I see, enough said.
Don: He was asking for the map. To your heart.
Me: He can’t have it. It’s in your possession.
Don: Oh my word.
Me: I’m just looking at jeans right now.
Christine: JEANS? (scoffs) Bottoms.
Jenn: His yellow fever is off the charts. How do you even find these guys?
Me: Oh. They find me, Jenn Jenn. They find me.
Don: Look at how wide that bed is. Wide bed for wide activities. Like manspreading!!
My Friends Say Things 