Me: How do you stay so high energy all the time?
Hairstylist: Girl, I’m dead on the inside.
Moses: So yeah, Dyster went and—
Gurjant: Yeah, yeah, Dyster.
Me: You know Dyster?
Gurjant: No.
Callie: I love hot dogs.
Becca: And they love you.
Callie: They couldn’t possibly. I eat them.
Andy: You can only be nurtured so much. Sometimes you just get natured.
Fab: He’s… I don’t know, he wears a fedora.
Classmate: My teacher discouraged me from pursuing art because they said it will lead to poverty.
Painting Class Instructor: Well, they weren’t wrong.
Me: Are you okay?
Andy: (kicks beanbag chair repeatedly)
Me: I’m gonna take that as a no.
(watching croquet)
Becca: This is just stupid golf.
Iris: Oh, now you guys have someone your age to talk about stuff with, like Fatboy Slim or something.
Me: You eat at Chick-Fil-A? They’re against your existence!
Timmy: But it’s so good.
My Friends Say Things 