Me: Are you looking for sugar? There’s a container on the table.
Andy: (stares)
Becca: The only container on the table.
Fabienne: I used to think people named Vivienne were knock-offs of me.
Mei: He listens to this style called hardcore.
Me: Parkour?
Mei: Hardcore. It’s very hard.
Callie: (eating mango) Look away! This is a private moment!
Timmy: I had a straight friend but then she moved to LA.
Me: Where’s our creme brulee?
Don: I was going to say… I may have to choose violence.
Sanila: I was getting ready as the client was threatening us. I was like, eh, casual dissociation.
On Nicholas Cage
Me: He won an oscar?!?
Callie: He’s actually really talented, he just doesn’t know how to say no to projects.
Ivy: Did you guys bring me snacks?
Me: No? Did you ask for anything?
Ivy: No but I wanted snacks.
Andy: I thought of names.
Me: I thought of names too!
Andy: Well, they’re more like concepts.
Me: Uh oh.
My Friends Say Things 