Sinyi: Oh no, it’s okay, I’m short.
Me: You’re not short, you’re my height!
Sinyi: WE’RE short.
Reb’s boyfriend: There’s a different option, but it’s on the dark web. It’s called gnoming.
Me: I’m sorry I farted in the middle of Ave Maria.
Andy: No, it’s okay. It’s the perfect time to fart, to be honest.
Sanila: (at the gym) Tears or sweat? Who knows!
Highway safety sign: IT’S NOT A RACE
Becca: Says the person losing.
Yi: Maybe therapy should be her next date.
Becca: (Watching the Chris Rock special) I haven’t seen him in a while, he looks less goofy.
Andy: Yeah, you tend to look that way after you get slapped.
Me: As if the banks collapsing wasn’t enough.
Becca: Oh my god, I forgot about that.
Me: You know who didn’t forget?
Becca: Who?
Me: The banks.
Me: I’m assuming they also go by they/them now?
Fab: No, she just cut her hair short.
Val: So my mom, my sister and I have a new obsession, which is Thousand Pound Sisters.
Deshi: Is it the one where the sisters sit on the couch and yell at each other?
Val: Yes.
My Friends Say Things 