Andy: What are the symptoms of cramping?
Qiqi: ….you just feel pain.
Qiqi: You were just passed out on the ground so this guy offered to lift you up for us.
Me: That’s so nice of him.
Qiqi: Yeah, he was pretty cute actually. It would have been a cute story of how you guys met.
Me: !!
Qiqi: Yeah but then you woke up and jumped off him saying, “I DON’T NEED NO MAN!”
Richard: I’m just a super awkward small person in a tall person’s body.
Daryl: You’re right, she looks like one of those quiet Asian fobs that never moved in gym class.
Alvin: If I didn’t know you and I had your phone, I’d slip in a dick pic.
Jason: Jason’s a whore name.
Me: Have you ever been iced?
Chris: Yeah, I iced myself.
Qiqi: I’m FINE! I’M FINE! This is why I don’t hang out with people, no one sees me this early in the morning.
Me: It’s almost noon.
Ava: That’s how it starts.. Starts as a joke. Like watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Turns into love.
Kristina: I’m being super mean and passive-aggressive. So it’s still profesh, but it’s also like, “If you don’t do this, I’m gonna cut your face off.”
