Homeless man: (yelling) YO, PITBULL’S SICK! He’s not dead!!!
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: (stares at mustache)
Ray: My eyes are up here!
Val: (reading out loud) “…constant queefing.”
Me: That could be the name of our band.
Em: Making friends, having fun. I could get used to this.
Sinyi: No, no murder for me.
Stan: I already ate all these things. When I eat the toast, it’s going to fall on top of the food that’s already in my stomach and make a sandwich.
Kaili: Estonian caviar: potatoes!!
Andy: I’m like, a 6? Where 12 is blackout?
Me: Oh, so like 50% there.
Andy: I don’t think it’s linear.
Me: Ohhh……….
Me: (turns to Mike) I bet she knows more Mandarin than you do.
Sai: (laughs in Chinese)
Don: But my mom is crazy and was like, “I’m going to buy three nail salons.” So that’s what she did. She bought three nail salons.
My Friends Say Things 