Melanie: Remember my Fashion Nova jacket?
Amy: It was UGLY.
Me: No?
Jess: It was rose gold. You were there.
Amy: She wore it clubbing. You were there.
Jess: You were there.
Amy: You were there.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: (jumps inside store) Oh my god! You’re still open!
Shopkeeper: Yeah, we’re open ’til 2, babe.
Ivy: Hey Siri, who made absinthe?
Ivy: (shows phone to me) Hilary Duff.
Ava: Three cheers for being dirt poor.
Ava: Hip hip, hooray.
Amy: It’s on Netflix!
Melanie: I’m using my roommate’s cousin’s mom’s account. So.
Jiwoo: Oh my god, please don’t stab me.
Jenny: He has insurance, don’t worry.
Jiwoo: Insurance doesn’t solve everything, okay?
Mojan: He was like, “I made plans for Valentine’s Day,” but Kobe died and it was going to be a helicopter ride.
(On the Super Bowl)
Teresa: I think J. Lo is performing with Shakira.
Lina: Shakira? Like the Hips Don’t Lie?
Teresa: (checks phone) Yeah, it’s Shakira.
Lina: What great lyrics. (chuckles) Her hips don’t lie. They don’t!
Andy: They do weird things.
Me: Like orgy weird?
Andy: One of the girls has a jar of her own tears.
Mike: (giggles)
Val: …ew.
My Friends Say Things 