Me: I love calamari.
Don: I can tell. They look like onion rings.
Ally: They’re onion rings of the sea.
Author Archives: Irisa
Becca: There’s so many people trying to sneak into Canada.
Me: Are you serious?
Becca: I saw a clip of these protests at the border, let me find it.
Becca: Oh my god, wait MY BAD LOL. It was for a different protest. Shit, I’ve become one of those aunties that spreads misinformation on WeChat.
Me: [US] oil prices are now negative. It’s cheaper than free.
Christine: SoMeBoDy cOmE gEt hEr
Sean: You have to fight her now, defend my honour.
Sinyi: No, defend your own honour.
Random man: (screams)
Ray: Tacos does that to people.
Kaili: She needs to slow down, have a bath, maybe an orgasm.
Ally: Oh my god, yessss bbg, get that bread.
Ally: And by bread, I mean the enthusiasm for work to better the human condition as a whole.
Andy: The girl friend dynamic is nothing to be fucked with. What a dangerous game.
Me: What did you do?
Andy: NOTHING.
Andy: I am but an observer.
Me: …
Andy: I’VE SEEN SOME SHIT. Y’all wilin’ sometimes.
Mike: Just kidding, I love you. (gives me middle finger)
Quyen: Watching boomers do video calls is so precious.
My Friends Say Things 