Ava: Aidan goes around telling people he’s from Scarborough.
Me: He can’t do that.
Ava: I know.
Me: He’s from Richmond Hill.
Ava: I know.
Author Archives: Irisa
Lyft driver: I’m telling you, I should be a wedding planner because I’d be the baddest motherfucker ever.
Sinyi: (on organ harvesting) The kidneys and liver is where it’s at.
Sinyi: I assume.
Me: It sounds like a cult.
Andy: I looked into it. Just sounds like a bunch of nerds.
Ava: If I get caught, I don’t know English.
Shirley: On the first date, she asked how he met his roommate and he said it’s complicated. On the second date, she had to ask him, are you married, yes or no?
Me: (startled awake at a party) What’s happening? Is there food?
Sanila: NO IRISA. NO MORE FOOD.
Sinyi: Oh no, it’s okay, I’m short.
Me: You’re not short, you’re my height!
Sinyi: WE’RE short.
Reb’s boyfriend: There’s a different option, but it’s on the dark web. It’s called gnoming.
Me: I’m sorry I farted in the middle of Ave Maria.
Andy: No, it’s okay. It’s the perfect time to fart, to be honest.
My Friends Say Things 