Daryl: My grandma was in Florida during Hurricane Irma.
Sinyi: Did she have fun?
Daryl:
Me: …there was a hurricane.
Author Archives: Irisa
Kristina: My mom’s like, you need friends. And I’m like, why?
Andrew: If anyone talks shit about me, I’ll kill them.
Philip: Ohhh honey… everyone around you will be dead then.
Ivy: Do we need a Tubshroom?
Me: What’s that?
Ivy: Tubshrooms! You’ve heard of them!! They catch the hair in the tub!
Me: We can get one of those silicone hair catchers that lie flat.
Ivy: THOSE DON’T WORK. I SAW IT IN A VIDEO.
Me: Was it an informercial for Tubshrooms?
Ivy:
Ivy: …yes.
Me: Is someone charging you $15.99 for a $1.99 thing?
Ivy: ACTUALLY, it is $15.88.
Becca: This tastes like that Body Shop… grapefruit thing…
Sanila: Why are you tasting body lotion?
Sinyi: Want me to stab you with a tiny sword? Would that help?
Callie: Can someone adopt the cat I want to see forever? Her name is Mother Nature and she is very calm.
Me: (points at bindi on Daryl’s forehead) Were you at a wedding?
Daryl: That’s a pimple, you asshole.
Kristina: So I’m in this Twitter beef. And it’s pretty exciting.
Iris: I can bring some of the Halloween candy for my coworkers.
Dad: (in Chinese) Don’t bring it for other people, what if it’s poisoned? Then you’ll get accused of (in English) mur-der.
My Friends Say Things 