Me: I finished a whole tissue box in just one week.
Yung $ammi: Wow. The talent.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: Yo, I just got my credit score for my lease and it WENT UP! So exciting!
Chris: Your credit score is now as white as your skin!
Dustin: One time, I was at LCBO and I was trying to buy Prosecco but I kept calling it Percocet and the lady was like, “oh no, no you can’t get that here.”
Wendy: And it was an overnight trip so naturally, I had to bring my stuffed cat.
Henry: Oh yeah, Starlight.
Wendy: IT’S TWINKLE, WOW GET IT FUCKING RIGHT.
Rui: I mean, it’s not illegal to look ugly but give it your best shot.
Me: What’s with everyone getting joint replacements?
Kaili: ‘Tis the season!
Kaili: Sun’s out, joints out.
Kristina: I don’t know. It’s hard out there for a pimp.
Flora: WE’RE NOT ASSHOLES! Okay maybe a little bit, but not like COMPLETE assholes!
Me: We ride together, we DIE together!
Jenn: (suddenly gets attacked by tree)
Me: Shit, Jenn, no not now!!
Andy: Not all the problems in the world are yours to bear.
My Friends Say Things 