Author Archives: Irisa

(eating hummus)

Flora: Hummy hummy in my TUMMY!!!

Chris: Goddamn, gurl.

Chris: Gurl with a U so you can infer my tone.

Dustin: If I get roofied, take me home and do nothing to my body.

(Car zooms by aggressively)

Sinyi: So, how small’s his dick?

Me: Wow Kaili, you’re going to live forever!

Kaili: Fuck.

Cindy: We lost our money in a canyon. We went cliff-jumping and mid-air, Mian just let go off the money.

Me: It says “entrepreneur” so I think it means he’s unemployed.

Daryl: YEP.

Ivy: A girl just brought a pizza as her carry-on.

Kaili: I’m a mix between a golden retriever puppy and a grandma. Like, I have all the energy but only until 9pm.

Kristina: If you go in with low expectations, it can only go up from there.