Kaili: (to me) Don’t tumble, little one. Things will get better.
Brittany: No they won’t, adulting sucks.
Kaili: BRITTANY!
Author Archives: Irisa
Jasmine: Wanna hear a funny story? I got drunk off kombucha last week.
Dustin: The only reason somebody would commit to him is to fast track becoming a Tibetan monk. I literally cannot derive another cause.
Daryl: Shut up.
Me: You shut up.
Daryl: Shut up.
Me: You shut up.
Fabienne: Yeah, like check yourself.
Me: Before you wreck yourself.
Fabienne: Yeah. Or I’ll wreck you.
(Sees inflatable hot dog strapped against a wire fence)
Becca: What religion is this?
Jenn: It means something when on your commute, you realize you don’t hate going to work.
Andy T: No, the small intestines are the ones with the coil-y shit and the large intestines at the ones that are like woop-woop-woop.
Lil Stevie: Whatever, he’s NOT hot.
Jess: Yo, in Prague, a bird shat on me so big, I thought someone threw a rotten tomato at me.
