Andy T: No, the small intestines are the ones with the coil-y shit and the large intestines at the ones that are like woop-woop-woop.
Author Archives: Irisa
Lil Stevie: Whatever, he’s NOT hot.
Jess: Yo, in Prague, a bird shat on me so big, I thought someone threw a rotten tomato at me.
Dustin: When I’m in the dumps and get really tired, I just tell myself this will make the autobiography a better read.
Dustin: So you’re just writing the good parts of the book right now, don’t even stress.
(window watching neighbour in building across the street make her bed)
Me: That’s a large bedroom.
Sanila: That’s a large bed.
Sanila: She looks like she’s struggling.
Me: Aren’t we all.
Erin: I have this one friend with a nudist, hippie mom that would always say that everyone in the world took all their problems and put them in the middle, we would all take our own back.
Me: Never have I ever…… owned a mortgage.
Person at party: In THIS economy? (sobs)
Sabrina: Well anyway, back to work.
Kaili: NOOOOO!!! (starts rolling around on the floor)
Sabrina: She’s doing it again.
Chris: Are there any good donut spots in Richmond Hill?
Me: No, we can go to Tim Hortons?
Chris: NO I’D RATHER DIE
Sabrina: I mean, it’s REGINA! He has to drive to Bumfuck Nowhere 1 to Bumfuck Nowhere 2, I don’t know. I’ve never been to Saskatoon.
