Chris: My parents grounded me once because I bought too many Captain Underpants books at the Scholastic book fair.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: How good are you at beer pong?
Andrew: Uhhhhh, YEP. You?
Fabienne: By the way, this is the straight one (points at me). She cries.
Me: Can you believe it’s almost July?
Kaili: STOP! Don’t say that. That means it’s almost Christmas.
(on spikeball)
Me: Do people just have a mini trampoline handy?
Chris: No, you have to buy the trampoline specifically for this game. White people just don’t have this shit laying around.
Andy T: There’s a corgi that hangs around here sometimes that I like to see.
Me: Is that why you brought me here?
Me:
Ivy: Shut up.
Me: You’re the comeback kid.
Mojan: I definitely get a lot of c** on my back.
Me: Jesus.
Mojan: I’m sorry.
Rui: Look at you, movin’ on up in life. The most I got from a dude was investing advice.
(candles sparking and refusing to be blown out)
Me: These candles won’t die.
Becca: What happens when they die?
Sanila: We die.
My Friends Say Things 