Me: (deep sigh) What will happen to me?
Sabrina: You’ll be fine. Eat your burger.
Author Archives: Irisa
Me: (laughs)
Fabienne: Ew, you’re making a really weird sound. Stop.
Dustin: Would you be open to the idea of catfishing desperate tech boys for crypto and flipping the money right after you pocket it?
Dustin: Because not gonna lie. One of the more plausible money schemes.
Sinyi: One day, you’ll be signing a contract, and it’s called MARRIAGE, BITCH!!
Erin: As I heard Mike the Situation from Jersey Shore say on a promo video yesterday, “a smooth sea does not make a skilled sailor.”
Me: (reads church signs) Our Lady of the Assumption. That’s you.
Rui: HONESTLY.
Becca: Oh, I didn’t tell you guys this but recently, I almost died.
Sanila: Harry Styles really died [off].
Me: Maybe his hairline started receding and that was the end of his career.
Sanila: Harry no styles.
Andy: What was your old wallet before?
Me: This. (pulls out old coin purse)
Andy: (revolted) EW, YOU WERE USING THAT?
Linda: That store’s price tags are double digits but the quality is single digit.
