Anon: And I was like, “Honey! Wanna hear a funny joke? If thank u, next came out during our break, we would have never gotten back together!”
Author Archives: Irisa
Elil: Anyone who likes Calvin and Hobbes is a good person. In my experience.
Jess: Yo, Vietnam was so hot, I didn’t get bitten once. The mosquitoes were like, “fuck that, I’m going somewhere else.”
Me: Dad, this is today’s hip music.
(Billie Eilish plays on radio)
Dad: I can’t tell if it’s English or Chinese.
Sai: It was just an abnormal amount of pigeon encounters.
Andy: (glances over)
Me: Were you checking out his butt?
Andy: No!
Me:
Andy:
Me:
Andy: Okay, fine, yes!!!
Sinyi: Mountain Dew is a scary colour. It should not be neon.
Me: I don’t know why we yell at the screen, they can’t hear us.
Michael: No, no. They hear us. (places hand over heart) Spiritually.
Me: I just feel bad for your suitcase when I roll over this thing.
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Me: I know, you keep sayi—
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Me: I sneezed and farted at the same time.
Fabienne: Proud of you.
My Friends Say Things 