Ivy: I hate Spongebob. His voice makes me want to literally punch a sponge.
Author Archives: Irisa
Amy: Here are the hot spots for Lyme disease.
Me: Are we in danger?
Amy: We’re always in danger.
Val: She’s so quiet but she says the freakiest things like, “Val, have you ever taken it up the a**?”
Me: And I was like, I love you but fuck off.
Daniel: That should be on a t-shirt.
Me: Would you ever do it again?
Stan: No, never.
Me: For a million dollars?
Stan: Yeah.
(on a recent Uber ride)
Anu: He was asking me questions like, “vere are you going?” and “vhy are you here?” And he was playing some famous Bollywood song like, “Deeesiii girl, Deeesssiii girl,” and trying to seduce me. I gave him a one star rating.
Calvin: Is that someone digging into a mango?
Me: It was pornographic fruit art???
Calvin: Oh, LOL, that went over my head. Was like… why smash some good fruit?
Ava: Let me live inside my robe forever.
Hanna: What is your favourite ride at Wonderland?
Sean: Leviathan.
Sinyi: Leviathan.
Me: I like the merry-go-round.
Laura: She’ll hate it, so let’s do it.
My Friends Say Things 