Don: Maybe that’s why you like spreadsheets so much. Because your moon’s a Virgo.
Author Archives: Irisa
Ally: And I was watching his Snap Stories.
Me: And?
Ally: And we all make our decisions. Some better than others.
Angela: So now he decided he’s in love with you? That’s so corny and so stupid.
Kevin: So recently, I discovered that if I mix my vanilla whey protein with juice, it tastes like a creamsicle.
Ivy: That is literally my worst nightmare.
Me: I almost choked and shat myself at the same time.
Andy: (sees baked bean spring roll) That’s disgusting. Jesus left the chat.
Val: I’m losing my shit! Losing it!
Stan: Where did it go?
Jess: Yo, there’s a tick and when it bites you, you become allergic to red meat.
All: (horrified silence)
Linda: It’s a vegetarian bug! It’s going to save our planet!
Kaili: I’ll let you know how it goes. His texts are in green, so you know he’s Android.
Daryl: Ya boy’s out here getting Lasik today. Gonna send updates throughout the day documenting the process. If you don’t want updates please reply saying so, thanks.
Brian: Let’s get some shots up in here.
Me: (turns around laptop) Shot list!
Sai: Yes!
Brian: I hate you. BOO!
My Friends Say Things 