Val: (sniffs) I’m leaking out of my face.
Sai: That’s not cute.
Author Archives: Irisa
Jess: Yo, so the other night, the floor on top of us was fighting and we just hear the girl yell on top of her lungs, “YOU ARE A LIAAAAAAAAAARRR!”
Calvin: I think you’re overreacting, calm down.
Me: Have you ever had your eyes gouged out before?
Calvin: Oh yeah, these are replacement eyes.
Colin: People do dumb shit when they’re in love. Fucking whatever.
Sai: I call guys pretty all the time!
Razi: You never call ME pretty!
All: (silence)
Ava: Just got out of a meeting. And the entire time in the meeting, I was singing in my head, “Buss it down, Thotiana.”
Sai: aarrrrrraaaaaaaaaaggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg
Me: (looks over and stares in concern)
Sai: ….
Sai: Sometimes, I forget I’m making noises.
Kanu: You have really nice eyebrows.
Razi: Thanks, bro.
Andy: And I was like, “That’s a big bitch right there.” And he thought I was referring to a person, but it was just a bird in front of us.
Mom: We can wait until Ivy graduates.
Me: I don’t think she wants to go to Vegas.
Mom: Not her, me.
My Friends Say Things 