Me: A bird flew into my head.

Jess: It’s okay, a bird shat on me before.

Me: I know. I remember.

Jess: Yo, Vietnam was so hot, I didn’t get bitten once. The mosquitoes were like, “fuck that, I’m going somewhere else.”

Jess: Oh ma GAWD, I’m ordering that too guuuuuurl!!

Me: I told you what I was ordering!

Jess: Oh WHAT! Oh sorry, I wasn’t listening. I was just like, “oh ya ya”.