Me: So you confused me with an old Italian guy named Tony?

Fabienne: I’m sorry, I’M SORRY!

Fabienne: What else should I bring?

Me: Your sense of humour.

Fabienne: Shut up.

Fabienne: This is such a gay party.

Me: What did you expect? You announced me as “The Straight.”

Fabienne: (shrugs and nods)

Fabienne: And I killed that presentation. In my pyjamas. In my room. Because it was over Skype.

Fabienne: But then I was like, he’s so nice. He must be gay.

Fabienne: Ew, you’re so creepy, can you go home?

Fabienne: I fixed it like the lesbian I am.

Me: Ugh, Brett Kavanaugh.

Fabienne: Why would you say that. It’s a nice day.

Fabienne: You dodged a bullet.

Fabienne: You dodged a truck.

Fabienne: A bullet truck.

Fabienne: A bullet train.