Becca: How did it get here?

Me: How do we all get here?

Becca: …birth.

Me: Oh, I immigrated.

Becca: I wouldn’t say I’m unconventional. Like, I’m pretty normal.

Me: (silently shifts gaze to Becca’s rubber frog-shaped shoes)

Me: As a person that—

Becca: Shits a lot?

Me: Well, I guess you could say that.

Me: I don’t know if you’re an asset, Muffin.

Becca: She IS! She’s full of ass.

Me: (farts)

Becca: Oh my god.

Me: What?

Becca: Why are you saying what like you didn’t just drop an atomic bomb?

Becca: I was in awe of his Hinge profile because he was so stupid. He was like, “I can’t tell the difference between a zucchini and cucumber,” and I was like, time to close Hinge forever.

Becca: It’s a lawless place, the DVP.

Becca: Everything was black so I was like, she’s either really goth or it’s a divorce party.