Me: “He has Risen.” So he rose from the dead. So he’s a zombie.

Becca: Yes.

Me: How long was I asleep for?

Becca: I think you fell asleep before or after me.

Me: You were asleep?!

Becca: Yes but when I woke up, you were awake. Either already or not yet.

Me: There’s a ten-hour loop of Voldemort laughing on Youtube.

Becca: I know, you posted it on my wall years ago.

Becca: Oh, it’s not on Gmail, it’s on Outlook.

Me: Ew.

Me: I died that night.

Becca: Was that the time you woke up with calamari in your mouth?

Me: Yeah.

Becca: Heavy is the head that wears the critical thinking crown.